In my experience, couples seek counselling with two primary motives: advice and help to stay together happily – or support to minimise the trauma of separation. I work with individuals or couples to explore the issues in the relationship and to collaboratively develop a course of action for the best possible outcome.
In couples counselling, I seek to establish safety and open lines of communication, with both parties expressing themselves and listening actively to each other. Beyond that, managing disagreement and conflict is an important process that involves learning negotiation skills and the ability to make finely-tuned, unambiguous agreements. The willingness to keep or renegotiate agreements is crucial to positive outcomes and the nurturing of trust.


I regularly see a range of people from different walks of life including business, creative industries and sports – all seeking to maximise their potential and perform to the best of their ability. Sometimes people begin counselling with a focussed personal problem and then move forward into an emphasis on life coaching and personal development.


I seek to establish the causes of the depression in the first instance. These may include various types of loss; work and relationship stress; excess consumption of alcohol or use of other ‘recreational’ drugs. Depression may be associated with a wide range of worries and anxieties relating to financial or accommodation problems; sexual or personal identity issues; suppressed anger; poor physical health; unrealised ambitions; midlife existential crises; bad childhood experiences of various types; and social isolation.

The causes need to be addressed in various ways. The experience of being ‘heard’ and understood is very important, as well as having support to re-engage with activities. Self re-parenting may be a valuable potential strategy, as well as help with clarifying and expressing uncomfortable feelings.

Practical goal setting and ‘how to’ steps are important, as is self-exploration in a safe and caring environment.


Sexual Issues of all types may be approached by clarifying the causes – either within a relationship or relating to personal anxiety or insecurity. As well as using behavioural techniques, it might be valuable to engage in relationship counselling; processes to build self-confidence and self-esteem; exploring historical conflicts; and general provision of support.


I generally clarify the nature of the stress or anxieties and determine a range of strategies to employ, including problem solving in situ; building assertion or self-confidence skills; as well as a variety of relaxation and self- support strategies such as healthy time-management and goal setting.


These can be treated using a range of psychology options including desensitisation; working to achieve a rational perspective; relaxations skills; self-confidence and self-support strategies.


With these issues, I feel it is important to establish an environment of safety for feelings to be explored and expressed, as well as providing the emotional support needed for the client to re-engage over time with normal living activities. Help with practical problem solving and goal setting may be very helpful.


In counselling, various counselling strategies may be employed including understanding and resolving the underlying tension driving the behaviour with other options for release; as well as setting limits and generating alternative healthy habits and supports. Relaxation skills and rebuilding of self-confidence and self-esteem are also likely to be important.


Remote counselling can be arranged via Skype or WhatsApp.