Dr David Malkin

Clinical Psychologist Perth | Counsellor Perth

Tel: 0409 227 548

The Power of Feelings

There is a widespread sense in men in our culture of what it is to be powerful.This is often portrayed as 'big boys don't cry".Hence men can often feel it is a weakness to express feelings or emotions to the detriment of their marriages or relationships.It is very uncommon for men in their male friendships to share their struggles and their internal landscape.Even if they wanted to do this,the skill and awareness can lag.Hence,the recent phenomenon of mens groups,sweat lodges and 'wild man' retreats.There is a telling metaphor which exemplifies feminine power succeeding where masculine power does not.Imagine a landscape with two trees side by side.One is 'female' and one is 'male'.The snow comes and the male tree valiently holds its branches stiffly to resist the pressure.Eventually the weight becomes too great and the branches snap off.In contrast,the female tree allows its branches to yield and they sway down with the weight of snow.Eventually,the snow slides off with its own weight and the branches bounce back to their natural state.It is important to bear in mind that every person has masculine and feminine potential and, hence,the ability to choose which strategy is relevant to each situation.Yielding to emotional expression may be very powerful in the right proportion and context.

If you are seeking the services of a Perth Psychologist or Perth Counsellor please contact me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

Small talk

Clients in counselling often report feelings of loneliness and isolation but are very reluctant to socialise for various reasons including fear,shyness,and anxiety.These issues can be addressed in a supportive therapeutic alliance.Sometimes people avoid socialising because they' don,t like small talk'.They cannot see the point of it and it feels awkward,superficial,and a waste of time.However,like many challenges in life,it becomes easier to find the motivation to do something if you can see the purpose of it.'Small talk' is actually a very effective method of edging up to and around people without taking too many risks of self disclosure whilst simultaneously checking out if this is someone you are interested to get to know better.Then it becomes worth the effort of pursuing that goal and having already established a bridgehead into a possibly deeper relationship.

If you are seeking the services of a Perth Psychologist or Perth Counsellor please contact me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

Dependency

Dependency feelings get a bad press in psychology and counselling.Clients often report concerns that reflect confused understanding of this issue.There is sometimes a conflation of bad dependency with good dependency.Bad dependency has negative consequences (like addictions of various sorts).Good dependency simply involves a meeting of ones natural needs.Good dependency does not involve a sort of psychological paralysis or helplessness or weakness as psychotherapy clients sometimes may fear.There remains autonomy and personal power allied with the flexibility of being able to attach and enjoy.Some may argue that independence can only be properly enjoyed when when has learned to depend in a healthy fashion.True independence involves flexibility and choice.This is sometimes confused with counterdependency which can be seen as psychological/emotional isolation and rigidity.

If you are seeking the services of a Perth Psychologist or Perth Counsellor please contact me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

Change

Psychologists and counsellors generally would commonly hear clients (patrticularly clients with depression) say "I will do something(exercise etc.etc.) when I feel better."That is because people often do not realise that BEHAVIOR change must precede FEELING change not the other way round.If you do something different you may feel better later.If you wait for your feelings to change you may be waiting for  long time.That poses the problem of doing something when you DON'T feel like it.However,the motivation becomes stronger when there is the anticipation of benefit later and an awareness of the necessary priorities in the order of the steps to be taken.

If you are seeking the services of a Perth Psychologist or perth Counsellor,please contact me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

Contact

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Tel: 0409 227 548

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CLAREMONT
1/40 St Quentin Ave
Claremont WA 6010
(Find at cnr Stirling Rd & Stirling Hwy)



POSTAL ADDRESS
PO Box 6247
Swanbourne WA 6010

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Dr. Malkin is an experienced clinical psychologist offiering counselling services from offices located in Claremont.

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